Winter Music Conference used to be a whole week of industry insiders schmoozing it up and trading records, but now it's all about the pool parties. And does that really bother anyone? If so, you've probably never oiled up for one of these sexy things.
So stop being a snob and start stripping. Because while the rest of the country remains buried beneath snow, longing for the warmth of the summer sun, you get to flaunt your bod and shake that superdrunk ass to hot, hard, wet DJ sets at South Florida's finest beachfront hotels!
But how will you know which pool parties are the sexiest? Duh, boo, we got you.
All Gone Pete Tong Pool Party. With special friends. 11 a.m. Saturday, March 16, at the Surfcomber Hotel, 1717 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-532-7715; surfcomber.com. Tickets cost $45 to $65 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Pete Tong is a living EDM legend. His Essential Mix series on BBC Radio 1 features the greatest names in dance music, spanning all genres, tastes, and styles. A pool party with some of his friends is always a star-studded event, packed full of premium poolside uhntz-uhntz.
R3hab & Friends Pool Party. With Adventure Club, TJR, Bassjackers, GTA, David Solano, Carnage, and Gregor Salto. Noon Sunday, March 17, at the National Hotel, 1677 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 646-942-8790; nationalhotel.com. Tickets cost $34.80 to $45.40 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. R3hab is Afrojack's most successful protégé, and now he's sharing the spotlight with his homies. This bash is stacked with killer sounds. There's bass, grooves, moombahton, trap. Go show some love in the deep end for Miami's own GTA!
We're All Friends Pool Party. With artists from Body High, Boys Noize Records, Bromance Records, Fool's Gold Records, Mad Decent, OWSLA, Smog, and Wedidit. Noon Wednesday, March 20, at the Raleigh Hotel, 1775 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 646-942-8790; raleighhotel.com. Tickets cost $45.40 plus fees via clubtickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Hell yeah, we're all friends. This has got to be one of the most drool-worthy pool-party lineups of WMC and MMW. Every single one of the labels reps world-class acts. Skrillex, A-Trak, Diplo, Boys Noize, and Brodinski are just some of the label heads with a stake in this function. And admission is less than $50 before fees. Need we say more?
DJ Mag Pool Party. With Hardwell, Dennis Ferrer, Dusky, Eats Everything, James Zabiela, and others. 1 p.m. Wednesday, March 20, at the Delano Hotel, 1685 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-672-2000; delano-hotel.com. Tickets cost $25 to $45 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Not in the mood for bloody bangers? Want something a little more underground and chill? Get you some house and tech jams with DJ Mag and a roster of EDM elites. Whether or not you're down with the magazine's annual Top 100 DJs list, this lineup is legit.
Dim Mak 2013 Showcase: Pool Party Edition. With Steve Aoki and special guests. Noon Thursday, March 21, at the Raleigh Hotel, 1775 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 646-942-8790; raleighhotel.com. Tickets cost $45.40 to $66.60 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. So far, the complete Dim Mak pool-party plan hasn't been revealed. But last year's sun-soaked bash with Steve Aoki and friends was anything other than disappointing. After all, you know Stevie is gonna be poppin' bottles and letting them eat cake. Also, Dim Mak's stable includes Angger Dimas, Bloody Beetroots, Clockwork, Datsik, Felix Cartal, Étienne de Crécy, and Will Brennan, to name just a few. So who will be joining us in the Jacuzzi? We're getting hot, hard, and wet just thinking about it.
Stacked: Miami. With Datsik, Andy C, Doctor P, Bare Noize, Brillz, Bro Safari, Carnage, SRNKN, Damn Kids, Delta Heavy, Dirtyphonics, ETC!ETC!, Emalkay, Fei-Fei, Goldie, Heroes x Villains, Loadstar, Matrix & Futurebound, Nerd Rage, Roksonix, Schoolboy, Shiftee, Taiki & Nulight, Tittsworth, Torro Torro, xKore, and Zomboy. 8 a.m. Thursday, March 21, at Finnegan's River, 401 SW Third Ave., Miami; 305-285-3030; finnegansbar.com. Tickets cost $10 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 18 and up. Upon seeing Stacked's insane DJ roster, we literally spit a mouthful of coffee into our hands. Then we got dangerously dizzy when we saw that tix were so cheap. It's also one of the only 18-and-up pool parties during WMC and MMW. Oh, and there will be food, lots of giveaways, and every shade of bass known to man. Can you handle it, beat freaks?
Hard Miami Pool Party. With Felix da Housecat, Skream, Oliver, Baauer, Destructo, and others. Noon Friday, March 22, at the Raleigh Hotel, 1775 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 646-942-8790; raleighhotel.com. Tickets cost $34.80 plus fees via flavorus.com. Ages 21 and up. Hard consistently throws some of the best events in EDM. Its annual WMC/MMW bashes are un-fucking-forgettable. And this pool party is a real last-minute treat. So don't miss dubstep OG Skream playing a rare house set, as well as funky disco duo Oliver, Baauer (AKA the Harlem Shake guy), and the Housecat himself. Get Hard!
Wolfgang Gartner & Friends Pool Party. With Alex Metric, Pierce Fulton, Angger Dimas, Bart B More vs. Harvard Bass, Felix Cartal, Kill the Noise, and Tommy Trash. 10 a.m. Saturday, March 23, at the National Hotel, 1677 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 646-942-8790; nationalhotel.com. Tickets are sold out. Ages 21 and up. Direct from Cali, Wolfgang Gartner has a vibe that's fun, energetic, and angular in the awesomest way. His friends are also revered for their amped-up, superbold style. This is gonna be every electro fan's pool-party paradise. Bring the water wings. Forget the swimsuit.
Spin Agency Pool Party. With Arty, Bass Kleph, Cosmic Gate, Glenn Morrison, Rebecca & Fiona, and others. 10 a.m. Sunday, March 24, at the National Hotel, 1677 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 646-942-8790; nationalhotel.com. Tickets cost $34.80 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. There is nothing wilder than raging with famous DJs and their business bros. So expect this poolside throwdown from RPM and Spin Artist Agency — boasting one of the most impressive house and electro house lineups during WMC and MMW 2013 — to get beat-freaking outta control. Things could get a little tribal, if you know what we mean.
WMC Closing Pool Party. With Loco Dice and others. 9 a.m. Sunday, March 24, at the Surfcomber Hotel, 1717 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-532-7715; surfcomber.com. Tickets cost $65 to $85 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. It might be the final day, but Loco Dice is gonna make it last. He just played a record-setting 16-hour set at Space last month. And you know he's probably got another hot, hard, wet marathon sesh planned for the WMC Closing Pool Party. So wake up at sunrise and fight through your hangover. It's time to oil up that ass again.